if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
