I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
it's like iHOP with fire
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
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