just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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