She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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