oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
