just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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