Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
