Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
