I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
