The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
