Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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