I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
