But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
