i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Randomize
