You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
