His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
How naked do you want me to be?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
