White coat. Heels.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
