If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
my being single is dangerous.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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