ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
