she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
