okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
