I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
