I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
