Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If I die, sorry about rent.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
