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whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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