This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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