Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
