im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
