They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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