the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She's the barista slut.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
