speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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