i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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