This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
