idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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