I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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