took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
