doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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