Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
