The brown eye won't let me do that either.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
