I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
