Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Panties = found
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