dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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