Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
This baby is an asshole
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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