i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
