it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
