Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
