I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
