Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Randomize
