I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
