We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
